broken.

the broken heart within you causes me great distress.
i weep in your midst as i see the suffering your temple is subjected to.

endless nightmares keep you from rest.
anxiety and idols terrorize you

always in pursuit but never finding peace
never with joy, always with sorrow.

the dark shadows hide your insecurities.
you fall deeper into the void of lies and deceit

you flee from that of infinite value
and your temple is in decay before my eyes.

you never forgive, never forget, and refuse to surrender
how far will you go before you've reached the point of no return?

how far can you go before i stop loving you?

showers of refreshing love and hope await
i long to cleanse you and make you whole.

will you come and indulge in this sweet water of life?
will you allow it to pour over you, to wash away your tears and stains?
or will you flee from new life and forever pursue the lies and darkness that beckon you?

it's not too late to be made new.

09.23.2009.
j.e.b.

true love

A world so wasted.

A plea for help
Iron against bone
Flesh broken and torn
Tears of sorrow
Cries of lament
Flash of power
True love struck dead

Forgiveness flows
All made new
Impurities cleansed
The broken made whole
A day of hope
All for this
True love was born

The world?

There is so much in this world that I don't understand.

The world is huge.

I am tiny. I mean, it would take at least billions of people to cover every square inch of the globe. I'm just one person.

Yet, our world is tiny when compared to the galaxy in which it's located.

I guess that makes me like a grain of sand. I wonder how many grains of sand it would take to cover the world?

And even our galaxy is tiny in comparison to the rest of the universe.

I don't know what to compare that to. A mole? And atom? A molecule? A cell?

Basically, it seems that I'm one tiny, insignificant person.

It's pretty amazing, when you think about it, that there are only a handful of people who have been remembered throughout time, whose names are written in the history books, and whose stories have lived to be told.

Some of those people are remembered for their cruelty, some for their wisdom, some for their riches, some for their brains, some for their peace-making, others for their brilliance in military planning. Names come to mind like Hilter, Aristotle, Plato, Socrates, Ghandi, Napoleon, Nero, Henry VIII, Alexander the Great. . . yet, even of the people mentioned, there are many people that do not know who they are, many people that have never heard their names, and still others that believe the stories told are just myths.

Believing any story requires a little faith. Research requires relying on the statements and perceptions of past historians, scientists, archaeologists, eye-witnesses, etc. As an average person with no superhuman abilities, I cannot possibly track down every lead myself.

I am unable to climb into a time machine to go back in time to see for myself whether or not there really was a holocaust.

I can't fly to the moon with Armstrong and see for myself whether or not the moon landing really did occur. I will never be able to watch him plant that flag in the dust of the moon.

I just have to rely on the research and conclusions of other people who are relying on the statements of others. I can read a variety of sources and viewpoints, but in the end I must come to my own conclusion.

I can even determine that there's too much evidence supporting a staged moon landing, and too many flaws in the holocaust theory for it to actually be true.

Ultimately, I am held accountable for my decision, whatever decision that is. And when the time comes that accountability, I need to be ready. I'd better be prepared now to back up my decisions, beliefs, or opinions when the time comes. Because a time will come when I am confronted and a defense must be made.

There will always be unanswered questions, there will always be things too complex to answer, there will always be good questions presented by the opposing view-point. That's the part that requires faith. That's where I have to take a deep breath and say, "You know what, I don't have all the answers. I will never have all the answers. I could devote my life to research and never come up with all the answers. But these unanswered question don't change the rest of the evidence. The evidence points here, and even though I don't have all the answers, this is what I'm going to put my trust and faith in. The evidence is strongest here."

There are some things that are too important in life not to make a decision about. Decisions that are life and death. These are the things I must make a decision upon. They affect my life, and I cannot wait.

But in the end, I know my decision, though it requires faith, is one that was made with both logical reasoning and with faith. I may not have all the answers, but I didn't walk into this blindly. Few decisions in life are made with evidence in 100% support. Even the simplest math problem, 2+2 is not as simple as it seems. To a mathematician, 2+2=4, but to a chemist 2+2=0. (2. + 2. = 4.)

I venture to say most decisions in life are made both with logic and the heart. Pure logic and rationale cannot explain many of the greatest things in society. The mind can lead you so far, but it is the heart that demands a decision.

I've looked at the evidence that begs my heart for a verdict and I've made my decision.

Lessons in engagement - introduction

I decided to write about some of the things I've learned because of mine and Jesse's engagement, but first I had to write a little background information on our engagement. The relationship is an entirely different story. :-)

- - - -

When Jesse and I first got engaged, we chose not to tell people right away. We told our family members and our close friends but asked them not to go and blab it to the world. We didn't care if they did tell people, we just didn't want it to be a huge deal and the next piece of gossip to travel around the community.

This is the way we did our courting/dating relationship as well; we didn't want to draw attention to ourselves and wanted to focus more on learning about each other and keeping God the center or our relationship before we had to deal with the judgment and opinions of others. Because we chose not to advertise our relationship, at the time of our engagement (and perhaps even now) there were still people who didn't realize we had actually been in a relationship for the past 18 months. In fact, I've still had people come up to me in the past month or two and tell me, "I just heard the news! Congratulations, when is the big day?!" We have been engaged for almost exactly 10 months.

We didn't make a our relationship "Facebook official" until 8 months after we'd already been together because Jesse was going off to college in Arkansas. We thought it be a good preventative measure and deterrence for people who added us on Facebook while we were apart. The hope was that they would see we're in a relationship and any interest in either Jesse or me would dissolve after they saw we were in a relationship (that was the idea anyway, but now I'm not naive enough to count on that). We made our engagement Facebook official about two months after our actual engagement date, I believe.

Another part of the reason we chose not to tell people we were engaged right away was because we wanted to have some time to think through our future together and to get an idea of what both of us wanted for our wedding and our marriage. We knew that the minute people discovered we were getting married, they would start giving us advice and ideas on what we should and shouldn't do, telling us we couldn't do things the way we wanted to, giving us budget advice, etc. We both understand the people are trying to be helpful, but it is so overwhelming sometimes! I really do like getting advice, just not all at once, and generally not when I haven't asked for it. Recently, I went to Wal-mart to buy some Valentine's M&Ms for our wedding that were 50% off. Since I bought so many bags, the cashier and the customer in front of me were giving me funny looks, and it made me feel as though I owed some sort of explanation. "I'm buying these for a wedding."

The bewildered expression on their face turned into relief and they both told me what a wonderful idea that was, and how cheap it was to buy them this way. I nodded my head, and the customer in front of me left with her purchases. Now it was just the cashier, my sister, and me. After the cashier found out it was for MY wedding, she began spouting out tons of decorating ideas to me. I just nodded my head, agreed with her, asked her a few questions, and left, thanking her for the ideas I was probably not going to use.

That's what I mean - I had just met this lady and she wanted to share all her ideas with me. But because I didn't know her and would never see her again, I was able to just walk away from her and tell her thanks. People just love to share advice, opinions, and ideas, even when it's not asked for. It's so much harder to discuss wedding plans with people I know because I feel like I owe them something. I have a hard time saying "no thanks," or "That's a good idea, but I don't think it will work for our wedding" because these people are a part of my life! I don't want to offend them or shut them down completely, because they do have really good ideas, I just don't always want them, or like them. It's so hard finding a balance between being open and gracious and being firm and decisive, especially when little stuff like this really doesn't matter. Unfortunately, it just grates on a person after some time.

- - - - -

That's all for now. :-) I must say, though, the opinions expressed in this blog are only mine, not necessarily Jesse's. Also, I hope you don't ever get the impression that I think the way Jesse and I did our relationship is the only way to do it. This is how God worked it out for us, and that's all. :-)

Couscous

Here's a recipe I made yesterday. I made a few changes, but it's pretty much the same thing.
Overall, I really enjoyed the recipe. I'd give it about a 4 star. Or, an A-. :-)

Couscous
Serves 5

1 cup couscous
1 3/4 cup chicken broth (or add 1-2 cubes of chicken boullion to water)
2 tablespoons oil for sautéing
1 red bell pepper, diced
1/4 of a white onion
4 cloves minced garlic, or to taste
1 can diced tomatoes
1 tablespoon dried basil
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
Black pepper to taste
2-3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar, or to taste
Parmesan cheese to sprinkle on top

**** I definitely would use fresh basil, if you have any. The dish would burst with flavor, freshness, and deliciousness. The original recipe calls for 1 cup fresh basil instead of the dried herbs, but I think that would be too much.
**** Also, I tried it both with and without Parmesan cheese. The difference was minimal. Next time I probably won't use any.



1. Bring chicken broth to a boil. Add couscous and bring back to a boil. Cover and remove from heat. After 5-10 minutes, fluff with fork. This can left alone for some time.

2. Dice pepper, onion, and garlic, then sauté them in oil over low to medium heat until they reach the desired tenderness (I personally don't like mine to be mushy).











3. Add the herbs, tomatoes, and pepper to the sautéed mixture. Bring to a simmer.

4. Combine couscous with tomato mixture. Place in casserole dish and splash the balsamic vinegar on top. Cook in oven at 350 for about 20 minutes. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on before serving.





**** It isn't necessary to cook in oven. I found though, that it helps the couscous to absorb the flavors better. It tastes just as good or better as leftovers.

Empty

I yearn for more.

My thirst is never quenched.

Yet, I am always filled and always overflowing.

How can this be?

What is your life?

The more I think about it, the more amazed I become at just how nothing I really am.

The years that I've lived have flown by so quickly. A few days ago I realized that I have lived about a quarter of my life already, according to statistics. Maybe I'll die tomorrow, maybe I'll die in eighty years. But truly, in the broad scope of things, what does it really matter? I'm only here for a short time; a day or a century, it's really all the same.

I realize there's so much to do; I have so many plans and dreams for myself, yet there's too little time to complete them all in. These revelations have caused me to take a step back and examine my life.

What is it that I really want in my life? What is it that I value most? What do I, in all honesty, want to do with myself for the rest of my life? Are my hours on Facebook really that important? In fifty years am I going to remember and be pleased with my researching the use of unsalted vs. salted butter in baking? Is that how I want to live my life?

Indeed, it is not. I'm glad you agree with me and visibly note the futility of such vain and empty arguments. Yes, I do find certain satisfaction for a few moments when I find evidence to prove my position and hence win the argument, but I am ultimately left more dissatisfied than I was before. Those few moments of pleasure are not worth the hours of research nor the relationships I damage through my own pride and self-confidence and know-it-allness.

I don't want to live in regret of wasted time and wasted opportunity. I'm so sick of sitting, waiting, and learning. I'm no longer satisfied with playing a life of defense. It's time for me to get on the offense. I now realize that's one change I need to make in my life.

After contemplation, I think I finally know what it is that I want to do for the rest of my life. How long will it take for me to get there? How many times will I fail along the way? I don't know, but I can guarantee you that I won't be able to count them on all my fingers and toes. I now have new goals set for myself, ones that I will be pleased with today, tomorrow, and fifty years from now.

Best of all?

I'm dreaming bigger than I ever have before.

- Janna

"For I am a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."

ONE Church

This is something God's been pressing on my lately. . . over and over and over again. . .

"The reason the world of today is not listening to the message of the church is not because the message is not vital and alive and meaningful. Rather, it is because we do not back up that message with our lives. Our steeples are raised high, but our doors are closed. Our sermons every Sunday morning and our Bible studies through the week are preached and conducted for the benefit of ourselves, scrutinizing Scripture rather than living it, seeking to increase our knowledge rather than change our behavior. Our ceaseless activities more resemble those of widespread social clubs than an effort to live out the revolutionary, fateful, and sobering thirteen verses at the end of Matthew 25." -- Editor Michael Phillips


I just watched this video and it pretty much summarizes everything God's been speaking to me.




-Janna

God?

I shake my head in wonder that the Greeks’ polytheistic worldview. How can they worship these gods who can be killed, deceived, are not omniscient, are not in complete control, and are limited by both time and space? I can’t comprehend their logic and faith. To me, this defies the very definition of god – a being that isn’t limited by his own creation and is in control of all things rather than being controlled by anything. He does things for his own perfect purpose, desires all things to be perfect, and is the ultimate authority. He is infinite and is not confined by the laws of time and space. This is how I define “god.” I don’t understand how anyone could lower their standards and worship anything less than this while continuing to love and respect them. For example, when I traveled in India for a month, I saw many Hindu temples, one with a tiny lump of wood. This is that the locals sacrificed and prayed to. How can a person be so blind as to worship something created by human hands? Where’s the glory and power in this?

However, I realized that often times we make or strive for things that become our own personal “gods.” They control and consume our minds, our lives, and our actions, and become our “lords,” which is just another word for a boss, or someone in authority. What were once goals, we have now become dependent upon and define us. Yet, somehow we have the nerve to laugh at the Greeks and their gods, claiming they had a primitive state of mind. Perhaps it’s about time we removed the plank from our own eye.

Pride

Explanation: I just read The Illiad for literature class and had to write and journal entry.

One trend I observed throughout The Illiad was the destructive consequences of pride and selfishness that ultimately led to pain, conflict, and unjust suffering. These consequences affect not only the person who was the original source of arrogance, but an innumerable amount of people. For example, the book begins with Agamemnon being too prideful to admit that he had done wrong. When confronted about it by the Seer, he made excuses for his actions before accusing the Seer of being wrong and unfair. Why? Because what the Seer said was not beneficial to him. This attitude seems to be an unfortunate disease in our society. Less and less people seem to be taking responsibility for their actions. If a person makes a mistake, there’s always an excuse or blame can be pushed onto someone else as being the main contributor. If we see that we’ve hurt someone, either emotionally or physically, we justify our actions and claim that somehow the victim deserved it – maybe they hurt us first and we sought revenge. I know that I have hurt countless friends, family members, and acquaintances through my rude, selfish, prideful, self-seeking actions and attitude. How much longer will we go on considering ourselves better and more important than others in our lives, never realizing the damage we have inflicted? Will we be like Achilles who was unwilling to forgive the pride of Agamemnon, which in turn caused Achilles to be prideful? His lack of response resulted in the unnecessary loss of lives. Will the breaking point come only from the death or injury, physical or emotion, of a loved one? Is it only then that we will look in the mirror and realize the damage our prideful heart has done, costing the lives of innocent people, mere bystanders in the fight against ourselves? Is it only then that we will finally be broken enough to surrender our pride?

Happily Ever After

This is a story my niece wrote on the marker board in the kitchen:

Once upon a time there was a frog and a princess. The frog kissed the princess who turned into a frogette, and they lived happily ever after. The end.

I don't want to get all philosophical but aside from making me laugh, this story has good lesson to teach.  But I'm not going to get all philosophical so I'm not going to explain what that lesson is.  Ha.

Even a Fool

"Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue."

For years I've applied this saying to my life. In my last blog post I said something about me not being much of a talker. One big reason is because I say a lot of stupid things and I'm embarrassed afterwards. So by keeping silent I fool people into thinking that I'm not a fool. Ha!

Here's one more big reason: honestly, I just don't think fast enough to contribute much wit, humor, or meaningfulness to most of the conversations I find myself in. I used to label myself "conversationally inept." I don't anymore because... I don't know. I used to be a very awkward nerdy person but Janna disagrees about the "used to" part, so maybe I still am.

About a year and half ago I decided to collect tips from people more socially skilled than I. I was thinking the other day, and I randomly remembered the tips and decided to post some of them, so here you go.

• Look people in the eye when you talk to them, and look interested when they're talking.

• Try to listen more and talk less.

• Let the other person talk about himself. People love that the most, I think. For extra points actually ask questions about them. People always have something to say about themselves, so when you can't think of anything to talk about ask what they like, or where they've been, etc. This is a lot better than talking about the weather.

• Don't interrupt. That's negative points.

• If you daydream, pray they don't ask you about something they just said.

• If you talk about yourself don't brag. Terrible negative points. People don't like it and quickly become disinterested when you start bragging. Bad, bad, bad.

• Try to find something you have in common to talk about. It's usually easy to have a good conversation with someone if you are both passionate about the topic.

• Try to remember their name if you just met them. When you run into them again it's easier to start up a conversation if you know their name.

Finally, be yourself. If you're awkward like me don't try to act like you're not. Just get over it. If you're real and embrace the fact that you're unique you won't be as awkward or uncomfortable. And don't worry what people think about you. They're also probably worrying too much about what others think to notice a lot from you.

Okay, that's it for now. Get off the internet you antisocial bum and go talk to someone.

Hummus

I ate hummus today... and carrots.  It was scrumptious.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

I wonder what talk radio, television news, and dinner table conversations would sound like if those involved stood firm to the above quote.

Words are very powerful.  Could I have written a more dull and obvious fact?  However, we don't treat them like they're powerful.  We throw them about without a care whose heart they may stab into.  We utter ridiculous things which we would never utter if we knew how silly or stupid they made us sound.  We vomit both distasteful and lovely terms alike so many times we become desensitized to their harshness or beauty.

I often keep my mouth shut.  Recently someone asked me "do you ever talk".  I wish I had just nodded, it would have been funny.  Anyhow, if I let my words flow as quickly as my thoughts I suspect I would frequently be in trouble, make new enemies, and be in a constant state of embarrassment.  I realize I should talk more, but I want to speak meaningful and wholesome words.  I don't want all that trash to come out.  Its getting harder and I emit garbage anyway, so why do I even bother?

Maybe it would be easier if I truly understood how my words effect those around me.  I am learning, though, and being reminded of how important my words really are.  A simple encouraging praise can brighten someone's dismal day.  Its amazing how little I compliment people.  I really should do it (more).

Biting your tongue when a passionate disagreement occurs can save you.  A rampant, and hurtful, activity that should desperately be avoided and is curiously easy to find yourself partaking in is gossip.  I could go on but I want to end on a funny note.  I found this quote by Will Rogers (I think its by him):

"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut."

P.S. If you're wondering about the photo, I was going to write a bit about living long, prospering, and consumerism, but I changed my mind.  I'll try to write about that someday.

Keeping the Law

Disciples asked the maggid (teacher) of Zlotchov: "In the Talmud we read that our Father Abraham kept all the laws. How could this be, since they had not yet been given to him?"

"All that is needful," he said, "is to love God. If you are about to do something and you think it might lessen your love, then you will know it is sin. If you are about to do something and think it will increase your love, you will know that your will is in keeping the will of God. That is what Abraham did."


Thoughts?

Confession

I have a confession: I am not perfect. I make mistakes, I fail, I hurt people, I say things when I shouldn't, I have sinful thoughts. . . you know, I could probably write several books as to why I'm not perfect.

I thought about this a lot last semester, due to God revealing some things to me. It's really caused me to stop and think about who I am, who I'm representing, and how I'm portraying this to the people in my life.

Who am I? I am a sinner, saved by grace, through faith given to me by God. I am to represent Christ, to set an example for others, through my life, my love, my faith, and my purity. My actions and attitude should mirror those of Christ. Far too often I fail at this, and it's usually when I'm trying to do things on my own instead of allowing Christ's love to flow from me.

Anyway. Last semester I had the opportunity of watching friends in various situations that arose in me a variety of different thoughts and emotions. It really began to discourage and disgust me that people could so willingly, so easily discuss their beliefs and faith, yet refuse to practice and live out what they said. I got a bit resentful, thinking, "Yes, you've said 8 times now that you believe in God, you're a Christian, but so what? The demons do too. What difference does believing make in your life?" I began to judge them, desiring to be the one to deliver to them a revelation: "The way you're living and acting is giving just as much honor and reverence to God as the demons actions are. There is no fear of God before their eyes. Yet, you expect to come before the throne of God and be accept by him, he whom you have rejected over and over again through your actions, your attitudes, your words, your lifestyle, etc. How can you claim to love God, yet live a life in rebellion to him? There's no such thing as partial obedience."
- "You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of the demons too; you cannot have a part in both the Lord's table and the table of demons." 1 Corinthians 10:21 NIV

I suppose it was fake lifestyles that exasperated me. I got tired of the complaining that surrounded me. "We are to do everything without complaining or arguing, in order to be blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation. . . in which we shine like the stars of the universe as we hold the word of life." How are we to respond to the things in life that we don't like? "We are to rejoice in the LORD always." "Our gentleness is to be evident to all." "The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Why are we, humans, so afraid to live out our faith? Why do we fear earthly consequences? Our citizenship is in heaven. If God is for us, who can be against us? Whom shall we fear? Why, why are we so afraid to live out the life given to us so abundantly? Like Maggie Harden said, if God asks/tells us to do something for him, he is not going to turn around and ditch us, leaving us alone to fend for ourselves. No, he'll be there with us, he will provide for us and will sustain us even when it gets hard; nothing is too great or difficult for God. Why are we afraid of people and persecution? Do we fear rejection by temporary man more than we fear rejection by the eternal, sovereign God? Do we fear persecution? God will be there with us, he will never leave us nor forsake us. God knows our pain. To be persecuted, mentally or physically, is an honor. "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" I like what Paul says, preach out of love. The important thing is that Christ is preaches. Without being frightened by any who oppose you . . granted to you on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Phil 1:9.

Again, why do so few of us neglect living out our faith in Christ Jesus? Why do we fearlessly profess but fearfully live? I want people to know me as a disciple through my love, my actions, my faithfulness, my words, my attitude, my gentleness, etc. I don't want to be labeled, I simply want to be. I want to fulfill the desires of God for my life, for me individually as well as that which he's asked of everyone, which is to preach the gospel to all the world - by preaching out of love - to win souls for him and bring glory to him in all that I do. Christ's sacrifice has opened a door, a pathway for me to do great things for God. . . but only through Christ who has strengthened me. But instead, I sit back and do nothing. I knock on a door, waiting for it to be opened, but when God finally opens it, I stand back, not trusting God enough to step beyond the frame of the door and into the abundant promises and plans he has for me. I too am guilty.

photo-a-day

I am currently doing a photo a day for my photography class. Here is the link to the flickr page:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jesse_daniel/
and one of the photos:

I'll be posting a photo every day for most of the rest of this semester.

apples and oranges

Ever hear someone say "Dude get a mac, PCs are stupid" or "macs are stupid, use a PC"? This topic has caused me frustration, indifference, and laughter.

You can't compare/contrast macs and PCs and say that one is better than the other. The whole argument of one being better than the other is ridiculous. It causes people to shift the blame of their own stupidity to the computer, initiates pointless arguments, and makes people less productive.

IT'S JUST A COMPUTER!
Macintosh computers and Microsoft Windows computers are different from each other... duh. A wrench and a screwdriver are different but neither one is better than the other, they're just different. Macs aren't better than PCs and PCs aren't better than macs. But many mac users swear that macs are better than PCs. However, many PC users swear that PCs are better than macs. Both think the other is delusional. I use both and I like both. They are merely tools that I use, not objects of worship or sources of loyalty.

I sometimes get frustrated with people for shifting the blame to the computer when something isn't working, simply because it isn't the platform that they like. When setting up sound equipment for church Sunday morning I encountered a problem recording the sermon onto my MacBook. When the other sound guy noticed my problem he said, "oh, its a mac. I've never had that problem on my PC" and walked away. He didn't even think that it might be something wrong with the software, the mini jack cable, the converter, or the sound board. He just blamed the mac and walked away. Now that's what I call efficient trouble shooting. If you ever have a problem with a computer that isn't your pet platform try, just try, to be objective and figure out what the problem actually is.

Here's a video I found about mac computers and gaming that I thought was interesting. I hear that mac computers are lousy for gamers. I wouldn't know because I'm not a gamer, but oh my goodness, could this possibly be evidence that the mac is not the holy grail of computers?!


Side Note: Isn't it interesting that the mac commercials compare macs and PCs, when mac computers are also PCs (Personal Computers)?

In the mac lab at my college I hear many comments like "aw man, what happened? These macs are stupid" or "you know, the PC software is better than that Mac software". These kind of statements just make me laugh! Have you ever thought that maybe it isn't the computer that's stupid? Maybe you should read a manual! That's like saying a saw is stupid when you try to cut something using the dull end. I'm ashamed to say that I am guilty of doing the same thing. So easily we want to blame something other than ourselves. Once I realized how silly I was acting I tried to actually figure out what the problem was. Next time you encounter an issue with a mac or PC don't blame the tool. Instead, admit that you don't know how to use it. Then you might actually be able to learn something new. Novel thought.

Here's a video of one of my favorite mac commercials. I think these commercials are arrogant, stereotype casting, and many of them are wrong, but this one is pretty funny.

I actually really don't like iMovie, though I do like iMovie HD. By the way, I think that both macs and PCs are good for video editing. I've used both and they are both efficient video editors, they both also have their problems. Actually, I think its more an issue of the editing software than the operating system.

These kinds of ludicrous biases occur everywhere with all kinds of products. I could say so much more in this post on this subject, and maybe I will in a later post, but that's all for now. Later I'll probably post about materialism and how it has attacked me.

stay tuned!

Ecuador Trip 2008

Dear Family and Friends,



Que Dios le bendiga! God bless you! Thank you for the monetary support and for the prayers while we were in Ecuador. The trip was incredible! I learned so much, did so much, saw so much, grew so much... it was amazing. I’m still excited about it!



Before you read this please pray to God and ask that you will read this letter with an open heart and that you will understand what He did and is doing in Ecuador.



If you want a glimpse of what our trip looked like before you read my letter, follow this link to view a slide show of photos taken by Daniel Colvin:

http://www.danielcolvinphotography.com/slideshows/Ecuador/



There is so much I want to tell you, so much I want to share with you. I wish my words could make you as excited as I am, but they can’t. So you’ll just have to go to Ecuador, too. Seriously, go to Ecuador.



We were told that we would probably have culture shock either while we were in Ecuador or when we got back to the States. However, I don’t think I had culture shock when I was there or when I got back home. Some things surprised me, but not greatly. The biggest challenge for me though was when I was contemplating what we as United States citizens do and are.



Much of Ecuador seemed to be in what we might call poverty. From the pictures, you can get an idea of what it was like. But even though they seemed poor, they were much richer than most people in the United States, in that they care about each other, they aren’t enslaved by schedules, and they take time to be with their families. It made me think of how we idolize our possessions, our jobs, our time, and how all of that is worthless and futile apart from God. So many of us need to learn to be content with what we have now, because if we aren’t, then we will never be content.



Steve (the missionary in charge of Camp Chacauco) kept telling us that you don’t fight darkness to get rid of it, you present the light. There’s no way to destroy darkness except to shine a light, and that light is Jesus. It solidified some things in my mind about how I will deal with the darkness in this world. I hope to love and be a light instead of attacking the religions of other people.



A lot of darkness is in Ecuador, due to the current political situation and the beliefs and practices of the Ecuadorian Catholic church. But our Lord is at work in Ecuador through the pastors and missionaries, praise God. Camp Chacauco is being used by God to shine a light in the darkness, and we were privileged to be part of it and to see and hear miraculous stories of God’s works. We got to help run two Vacation Bible Schools in the town of Sucre, help run a day camp for Ecuadorian teens to twenties, and we got to help out camp Chacauco with some construction work.



Through stories of his ministry, Steve taught us how we should have a “Yes, Lord” mentality. Not to ask questions and arrange everything first, but to drop everything when He calls you to do something and ask questions later. When you live like that, God does amazing things and you can really see the work of His hand. I’m getting all teary-eyed just thinking about it. Our God is an awesome God! I was able to live with a “Yes, Lord” mentality that week, and I pray I will continue to live my life that way.



I’m really going to miss the beauty of Ecuador: the people, the weather, the Christians, and the landscapes. Most of all, I will miss the Christians. I saw Jesus that week in the lives of the missionaries and Christians in Ecuador. I saw Him in the actions and attitudes and smiles and sincerity of the Christians. This trip increased my desire to be a witness to others by my actions, attitude, smiles, and my sincerity. I still tear up when I think of the Christians in Ecuador, God’s amazing love, and the things He revealed to me that week. God is good, and His works and love are amazing.



Thank you so much for your prayers. I know they helped and protected us. Thank you also for supporting us with money. I know that without your help God still would have provided the finances, but He chose you and you followed His will. I want to let you know that your money helped make amazing things happen. May God bless you and may you draw closer to Him!



Jesse Daniel