Even a Fool

"Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue."

For years I've applied this saying to my life. In my last blog post I said something about me not being much of a talker. One big reason is because I say a lot of stupid things and I'm embarrassed afterwards. So by keeping silent I fool people into thinking that I'm not a fool. Ha!

Here's one more big reason: honestly, I just don't think fast enough to contribute much wit, humor, or meaningfulness to most of the conversations I find myself in. I used to label myself "conversationally inept." I don't anymore because... I don't know. I used to be a very awkward nerdy person but Janna disagrees about the "used to" part, so maybe I still am.

About a year and half ago I decided to collect tips from people more socially skilled than I. I was thinking the other day, and I randomly remembered the tips and decided to post some of them, so here you go.

• Look people in the eye when you talk to them, and look interested when they're talking.

• Try to listen more and talk less.

• Let the other person talk about himself. People love that the most, I think. For extra points actually ask questions about them. People always have something to say about themselves, so when you can't think of anything to talk about ask what they like, or where they've been, etc. This is a lot better than talking about the weather.

• Don't interrupt. That's negative points.

• If you daydream, pray they don't ask you about something they just said.

• If you talk about yourself don't brag. Terrible negative points. People don't like it and quickly become disinterested when you start bragging. Bad, bad, bad.

• Try to find something you have in common to talk about. It's usually easy to have a good conversation with someone if you are both passionate about the topic.

• Try to remember their name if you just met them. When you run into them again it's easier to start up a conversation if you know their name.

Finally, be yourself. If you're awkward like me don't try to act like you're not. Just get over it. If you're real and embrace the fact that you're unique you won't be as awkward or uncomfortable. And don't worry what people think about you. They're also probably worrying too much about what others think to notice a lot from you.

Okay, that's it for now. Get off the internet you antisocial bum and go talk to someone.

Hummus

I ate hummus today... and carrots.  It was scrumptious.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

I wonder what talk radio, television news, and dinner table conversations would sound like if those involved stood firm to the above quote.

Words are very powerful.  Could I have written a more dull and obvious fact?  However, we don't treat them like they're powerful.  We throw them about without a care whose heart they may stab into.  We utter ridiculous things which we would never utter if we knew how silly or stupid they made us sound.  We vomit both distasteful and lovely terms alike so many times we become desensitized to their harshness or beauty.

I often keep my mouth shut.  Recently someone asked me "do you ever talk".  I wish I had just nodded, it would have been funny.  Anyhow, if I let my words flow as quickly as my thoughts I suspect I would frequently be in trouble, make new enemies, and be in a constant state of embarrassment.  I realize I should talk more, but I want to speak meaningful and wholesome words.  I don't want all that trash to come out.  Its getting harder and I emit garbage anyway, so why do I even bother?

Maybe it would be easier if I truly understood how my words effect those around me.  I am learning, though, and being reminded of how important my words really are.  A simple encouraging praise can brighten someone's dismal day.  Its amazing how little I compliment people.  I really should do it (more).

Biting your tongue when a passionate disagreement occurs can save you.  A rampant, and hurtful, activity that should desperately be avoided and is curiously easy to find yourself partaking in is gossip.  I could go on but I want to end on a funny note.  I found this quote by Will Rogers (I think its by him):

"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut."

P.S. If you're wondering about the photo, I was going to write a bit about living long, prospering, and consumerism, but I changed my mind.  I'll try to write about that someday.