Lessons in engagement - introduction

I decided to write about some of the things I've learned because of mine and Jesse's engagement, but first I had to write a little background information on our engagement. The relationship is an entirely different story. :-)

- - - -

When Jesse and I first got engaged, we chose not to tell people right away. We told our family members and our close friends but asked them not to go and blab it to the world. We didn't care if they did tell people, we just didn't want it to be a huge deal and the next piece of gossip to travel around the community.

This is the way we did our courting/dating relationship as well; we didn't want to draw attention to ourselves and wanted to focus more on learning about each other and keeping God the center or our relationship before we had to deal with the judgment and opinions of others. Because we chose not to advertise our relationship, at the time of our engagement (and perhaps even now) there were still people who didn't realize we had actually been in a relationship for the past 18 months. In fact, I've still had people come up to me in the past month or two and tell me, "I just heard the news! Congratulations, when is the big day?!" We have been engaged for almost exactly 10 months.

We didn't make a our relationship "Facebook official" until 8 months after we'd already been together because Jesse was going off to college in Arkansas. We thought it be a good preventative measure and deterrence for people who added us on Facebook while we were apart. The hope was that they would see we're in a relationship and any interest in either Jesse or me would dissolve after they saw we were in a relationship (that was the idea anyway, but now I'm not naive enough to count on that). We made our engagement Facebook official about two months after our actual engagement date, I believe.

Another part of the reason we chose not to tell people we were engaged right away was because we wanted to have some time to think through our future together and to get an idea of what both of us wanted for our wedding and our marriage. We knew that the minute people discovered we were getting married, they would start giving us advice and ideas on what we should and shouldn't do, telling us we couldn't do things the way we wanted to, giving us budget advice, etc. We both understand the people are trying to be helpful, but it is so overwhelming sometimes! I really do like getting advice, just not all at once, and generally not when I haven't asked for it. Recently, I went to Wal-mart to buy some Valentine's M&Ms for our wedding that were 50% off. Since I bought so many bags, the cashier and the customer in front of me were giving me funny looks, and it made me feel as though I owed some sort of explanation. "I'm buying these for a wedding."

The bewildered expression on their face turned into relief and they both told me what a wonderful idea that was, and how cheap it was to buy them this way. I nodded my head, and the customer in front of me left with her purchases. Now it was just the cashier, my sister, and me. After the cashier found out it was for MY wedding, she began spouting out tons of decorating ideas to me. I just nodded my head, agreed with her, asked her a few questions, and left, thanking her for the ideas I was probably not going to use.

That's what I mean - I had just met this lady and she wanted to share all her ideas with me. But because I didn't know her and would never see her again, I was able to just walk away from her and tell her thanks. People just love to share advice, opinions, and ideas, even when it's not asked for. It's so much harder to discuss wedding plans with people I know because I feel like I owe them something. I have a hard time saying "no thanks," or "That's a good idea, but I don't think it will work for our wedding" because these people are a part of my life! I don't want to offend them or shut them down completely, because they do have really good ideas, I just don't always want them, or like them. It's so hard finding a balance between being open and gracious and being firm and decisive, especially when little stuff like this really doesn't matter. Unfortunately, it just grates on a person after some time.

- - - - -

That's all for now. :-) I must say, though, the opinions expressed in this blog are only mine, not necessarily Jesse's. Also, I hope you don't ever get the impression that I think the way Jesse and I did our relationship is the only way to do it. This is how God worked it out for us, and that's all. :-)

Couscous

Here's a recipe I made yesterday. I made a few changes, but it's pretty much the same thing.
Overall, I really enjoyed the recipe. I'd give it about a 4 star. Or, an A-. :-)

Couscous
Serves 5

1 cup couscous
1 3/4 cup chicken broth (or add 1-2 cubes of chicken boullion to water)
2 tablespoons oil for sautéing
1 red bell pepper, diced
1/4 of a white onion
4 cloves minced garlic, or to taste
1 can diced tomatoes
1 tablespoon dried basil
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
Black pepper to taste
2-3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar, or to taste
Parmesan cheese to sprinkle on top

**** I definitely would use fresh basil, if you have any. The dish would burst with flavor, freshness, and deliciousness. The original recipe calls for 1 cup fresh basil instead of the dried herbs, but I think that would be too much.
**** Also, I tried it both with and without Parmesan cheese. The difference was minimal. Next time I probably won't use any.



1. Bring chicken broth to a boil. Add couscous and bring back to a boil. Cover and remove from heat. After 5-10 minutes, fluff with fork. This can left alone for some time.

2. Dice pepper, onion, and garlic, then sauté them in oil over low to medium heat until they reach the desired tenderness (I personally don't like mine to be mushy).











3. Add the herbs, tomatoes, and pepper to the sautéed mixture. Bring to a simmer.

4. Combine couscous with tomato mixture. Place in casserole dish and splash the balsamic vinegar on top. Cook in oven at 350 for about 20 minutes. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on before serving.





**** It isn't necessary to cook in oven. I found though, that it helps the couscous to absorb the flavors better. It tastes just as good or better as leftovers.