What is your life?

The more I think about it, the more amazed I become at just how nothing I really am.

The years that I've lived have flown by so quickly. A few days ago I realized that I have lived about a quarter of my life already, according to statistics. Maybe I'll die tomorrow, maybe I'll die in eighty years. But truly, in the broad scope of things, what does it really matter? I'm only here for a short time; a day or a century, it's really all the same.

I realize there's so much to do; I have so many plans and dreams for myself, yet there's too little time to complete them all in. These revelations have caused me to take a step back and examine my life.

What is it that I really want in my life? What is it that I value most? What do I, in all honesty, want to do with myself for the rest of my life? Are my hours on Facebook really that important? In fifty years am I going to remember and be pleased with my researching the use of unsalted vs. salted butter in baking? Is that how I want to live my life?

Indeed, it is not. I'm glad you agree with me and visibly note the futility of such vain and empty arguments. Yes, I do find certain satisfaction for a few moments when I find evidence to prove my position and hence win the argument, but I am ultimately left more dissatisfied than I was before. Those few moments of pleasure are not worth the hours of research nor the relationships I damage through my own pride and self-confidence and know-it-allness.

I don't want to live in regret of wasted time and wasted opportunity. I'm so sick of sitting, waiting, and learning. I'm no longer satisfied with playing a life of defense. It's time for me to get on the offense. I now realize that's one change I need to make in my life.

After contemplation, I think I finally know what it is that I want to do for the rest of my life. How long will it take for me to get there? How many times will I fail along the way? I don't know, but I can guarantee you that I won't be able to count them on all my fingers and toes. I now have new goals set for myself, ones that I will be pleased with today, tomorrow, and fifty years from now.

Best of all?

I'm dreaming bigger than I ever have before.

- Janna

"For I am a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."